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January 31, 2014
Beelzebub Pharma, Inc.
I wanted to note my latest column for the RSC's Chemistry World, because I thought many readers here would be able to relate to it. I have a series of proposals for running the worst drug discovery organization I can think of - a set of simple rules that I think would bring things to a frantic, juddering halt while seeming to aim at enhancing everyone's productivity. A sample:
Appearances matter. And if it comes to a contest between surface and substance, then the glossiest surface wins. Woe to anyone whose presentations are not smooth and slick, with as many colorful charts as possible. Woe, similarly, to those who fail to tell anyone who asks (and many who don’t) how cleanly and tightly their current project is running. The first step to making problems disappear is to get them out of everyone’s sight. Right?
There will be many, many meetings to show off those beautiful slides. Multiple overlapping layers of meetings: it’s the only way to keep things running smoothly. Your worth as a manager, and as a human being, is tied to how many people you can cause to assemble in a room on a regular basis and how frequently you can get them to stand up in front of you.
I'm coming up (this fall) on twenty-five years of industrial research, and I found this column alarmingly easy to write. I was reminded of C. S. Lewis' experience in composing The Screwtape Letters, and his reluctance to write any more in that style. It really does just come out like opening up a water line once you get started, which says something about human nature.
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