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DBL%20Hendrix%20small.png College chemistry, 1983

Derek Lowe The 2002 Model

Dbl%20new%20portrait%20B%26W.png After 10 years of blogging. . .

Derek Lowe, an Arkansan by birth, got his BA from Hendrix College and his PhD in organic chemistry from Duke before spending time in Germany on a Humboldt Fellowship on his post-doc. He's worked for several major pharmaceutical companies since 1989 on drug discovery projects against schizophrenia, Alzheimer's, diabetes, osteoporosis and other diseases. To contact Derek email him directly: Twitter: Dereklowe

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December 12, 2013

Eye of the Beholder Stuff

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Posted by Derek

I'm sure that many readers here will be interested to hear that (according to some outfit called the happiest company in America to work for is. . .Pfizer. Probably makes you happy just to hear about it, doesn't it?

Comments (25) + TrackBacks (0) | Category: Business and Markets


1. Shiny Hppy Pfizerite on December 12, 2013 11:07 AM writes...

Remeber this episode of the Twilight Zone?'s_a_Good_Life_(The_Twilight_Zone)
If we don't think happy thoughts, we get sent to the "cornfield"...

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2. Hap on December 12, 2013 11:15 AM writes...

1) Did the awards committee drug test this year?

2) Has Pfizer (as others said the last time they won this honor) fired all the unhappy people, leaving only the happy people behind?

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3. Chemjobber on December 12, 2013 11:18 AM writes...

I like milkshake's joke from last year when they won this:

reminds me a dystopian joke about Khrushchev's visit in Warsaw - complete with an symphonic orchestra concert and military parade, streets lined with people waving flags, cheerful banners and flowers everywhere. Later, there is a press conference and one question goes: "Comrade First Secretary, you received truly an overwhelming welcome here in Warsaw - the Polish people are all very happy today - they must really love you." Khrushchev nods and says: "Yes, they must."

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4. Leedschemist on December 12, 2013 11:25 AM writes...

Don't know what you mean. I bet all three of them are over the moon to still be there!

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5. PSU on December 12, 2013 11:34 AM writes...

@1: The original story (and a creepy one it is) is by Jerome Bixby, and it's a classic of science fiction.

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6. Anon on December 12, 2013 11:46 AM writes...

#3 Chemjobber: I think this adapted version of a Ronald Reagan joke about the Soviet Union might also work:

The CEO of Pfizer takes a stroll through his laboratories, wondering what his scientists (at least those who are left) are up to. He comes across a distinguished looking scientist and asks, "So how are the drugs coming along"? And the scientist says, "Wonderful. If we could make a pile of all the drugs that we discovered this year it would reach the foot of God". The CEO says, "Nonsense. There is no God except Pfizer". And the scientist replies, "That's ok, because there's no drugs here either".

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7. Nekekami on December 12, 2013 11:48 AM writes...

Holy crap.....

A lot of HR+Marketing Representation budgets must have been burned to get(or, yeah, since Pfizer is a pharmaceutical a complementary bag of Representation narcotics might explain it...), since morale is at rock bottom in many of the places on the list... Microsoft and Nokia for example...

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8. Chemjobber on December 12, 2013 11:50 AM writes...

6: LOL. Seriously, thank you. I love East Bloc jokes, I can't get enough of them.

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9. Mike W on December 12, 2013 11:52 AM writes..., a subsidiary of Pfizer.

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10. anonymous on December 12, 2013 11:55 AM writes...

I went to the CareerBliss site and clicked the Pfizer link, which shows a list of reviews that people have submitted about Pfizer. The "Bliss rating" is 3.0 (not 4.something as shown on the top 50 list). And then there is an actual distribution of Pfizer reviews, overwhelmingly 1-star reviews. So it is unclear to me how they came up with the top 50 list.

I like the second review: Pfizer offers great salary and benefits to its employees. This includes a top-notch severance package, which is reassuring because there have been layoffs every year since 2005.

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11. MoMo on December 12, 2013 11:56 AM writes...

Its the happiest place only because they all get free Viagra.

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12. anomalous on December 12, 2013 12:02 PM writes...

@1: Did you notice, DK gave this post the title of another classic Twilight Zone episode?

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13. Anonymous on December 12, 2013 1:28 PM writes...

This is what happens when HR folks in crap companies spend all their time filling out forms and paying fees to be recognized as "best company to work for", instead of actually making their employees happy, and their company best company to work for.

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14. Jon Helm on December 12, 2013 1:43 PM writes...

This is QUITE comical. I do have to say that I'm sure the upper level management is "more than satisfied"/"the happiest people working there".
Silly U.S. and our fake awards...Trix are for kids (and the generally gullible population we house).

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15. Jon Helm on December 12, 2013 1:44 PM writes...

This is QUITE comical. I do have to say that I'm sure the upper level management is "more than satisfied"/"the happiest people working there".
Silly U.S. and our fake awards...Trix are for kids (and the generally gullible population we house).

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16. Jon Helm on December 12, 2013 1:48 PM writes...

Sorry about that; my page froze up on me and I clicked twice out of impatience! Feel free to delete this comment explaining that and one of my duplicates!

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17. Wayne Brown on December 12, 2013 1:53 PM writes...

They all probably also get personal doctors to take care of their >4hour erections--the Phizer way.

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18. MoMo on December 12, 2013 2:15 PM writes...

Actually Wayne, when that happens they hire themselves out as limbo sticks at local nightclub parties. Great way to earn extra money I hear!

Everybody Limbo to the Pfizer Beat!

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19. Anon on December 12, 2013 2:21 PM writes...

An old Simpon's reference:

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20. Pfizer Cheerleader on December 12, 2013 8:15 PM writes...

Guess I'll be the dissenting voice here...

Been there a few years and while it was hairy a few years ago, the company seems to have hit bottom and is actually on the rebound: look at our stock chart since 2009 + 5 approvals last year.

Don't get me wrong: the company is cost conscious as never before and our benefit package has been trimmed noticeably. That said, I believe it's highly unlikely we will have mass lay offs in the next 12 to 24 months (barring disaster. Do you know how much that is worth? Yes indeed, a lot of Bliss...

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21. Dr. Manhattan on December 12, 2013 9:38 PM writes...

"Its the happiest place only because they all get free Viagra" No, they put Zoloft in the drinking water..

When I worked there many years ago, they actually brought the Pfizer sponsored "Viagra" stock car onto the site. One of the guys with it told me that when they wax it, the car gets longer...

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22. joeylawn on December 13, 2013 12:18 AM writes...

#13 nailed it.

'Bought and Paid For'

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23. X Chemist on December 13, 2013 8:11 AM writes...

20: "I believe it's highly unlikely we will have mass lay offs in the next 12 to 24 months "

way to tempt fate there, Mr Pfizer

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24. Nick K on December 15, 2013 4:34 AM writes...

#20: Is Agilist now working for Pfizer rather than GSK?

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25. Anonymous on December 15, 2013 2:16 PM writes...

@20: Whatever site you are at, you should take a walk around the site. How many completely empty labs do you see? How many completely empty buildings? The ones with generic 'for lease' signs count. Those were once filled with people happy to have jobs at Pfizer.

If you are in Groton, take a field trip to New London. If you are in La Jolla, go look around CovX and take a stroll down Science Center Bvld. If you are in Kalamazoo, look around and perhaps drive over to Ann Arbor. If you are in San Francisco, realize the building you are in was bought, sold, then rebought by Pfizer. Each of those involved messy acquisitions of productive biotechs. If you are in St. Louis, google "St. Louis Pfizer Monsanto."

Still feel secure?

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