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January 26, 2006
Ah, It's Fine. Just Send the Darn Thing Out Already.
Since I was mentioning the other day how little I enjoy reading (or writing) patents, I thought I'd pass along this item from Greg Aharonian's PatNews mailing list. There are plenty of other people, it seems, whose attentions wander while doing IP work. Take, for example, the luckless 3 inventors from the New York area who filed application US 20030004652, which published about three weeks ago.
They've got a (putatively new) system to monitor animal behavior during drug testing. The abstract starts off by describing:
A system and method used to assess animal behavior includes a module having sensors that collects a variety of physical and biological data from a test subject. Interpretation of the data is provided to assess the test subject's behavior, neurology, biochemistry and physiology. The module is useful in observing the effects of a drug on the test animal and providing information on the drug's signature.
OK, fine. I'm pretty sure I've seen things like this before, but who knows, maybe they have something inventive in there. So, you're asking, what are the wonderful features of this new invention? As you'll see, the folks who drafted (and edited) the abstract were asking themselves the same question during the document's preparation. Verbatim, it continues with the following, whose unsteady grammar is the least of its problems:
Another advantage is module's portability that allows it to be used in standard laboratory cages. (NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PORTABILITY) This portability allows the animal to be tested in its own habitat, that can reduce any erroneous data due to stressing the animal when removed to a test cage.
Proofreading, guys, proofreading. You're going to have a tough time with the novelty and enablement requirements if you tell the patent office what you really think, you know.
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